Students Call Each Other “Gay” As An Insult
It recently came to my attention that our elementary students, Grades 3 – 6, have been calling each other “gay” as an insult. I found out about it when one of my parents came in and complained that another student in our class was calling his son “gay” nearly every day. The father was really angry about it. The boy doing the insulting said his little sister (a baby) was being called a “lesbian.”
I was shocked, until I recalled that when I was young, kids called each other “fags.” So the insult remains the same, but the word used seems to have changed. These days, they probably wouldn’t know what “fag” meant (at least in our overseas school). But I am surprised that eight-year-old kids in Grade 3 are doing this. It seems to me we were a little older when that started.
Of course, I tried to do something about this. I told my third graders I didn’t want anyone complaining about any of them doing this, even if kids from other classes are doing it. We talked about how it’s not a correct thing to say. The kids told me it was coming mainly from Grade 6 (all of our classes, Grades 1 – 6 are on the playground together every day for picnic lunches and playtime). Grades 3, 4, and 5 have copied Grade 6 in picking up this insult.
When I taught Kindergarten, kids insulted each other, too. But they usually used a kids’ word in Arabic, meaning “excrement.”
So I guess insults are pretty much the same categories of things all over the world–words about excrement or sex.
Eileen
May 23, 2008 at 11:07 pm
woah.. that is shocking. i mean they r jst ttoo young to be saying tht..
its gross
May 24, 2008 at 3:40 am
HA! How true. Although I would love to learn some Arabic curses.
May 24, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I have had to work with my teenagers about using the word “gay” as a derogatory term. They use it to mean “lame” or “stupid,” not just to call each other gay. For example, one student will say, “That book was so gay,” or “That song is so gay,” just to basically say that they didn’t like it. However, at the teenager level, when I have tried to discuss it, they look at me as though I am some kind of alien. But then again, that’s teenagers for you!
May 24, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Spaniards use their word for that in all kinds of ways. It is an insult, big or little, serious or not, depending on how and when they say it. I suppose our “bastard” would be a fair translation sometimes. “You little bastard,” I tell my dog when it runs away with my shoe. I may or may not be angry. I certainly don’t mean to refer to the civil state of his parents when he was born. My neighbor in the village used to call her darling son a maricón just before hitting him, but also just before giving him a kiss. Grandmothers shout “maricón!” with great love at their little grinning grandchild. “You little dickens!”.
But the word is also still used to mean “evil” or “deceiving”. In my village in La Mancha they called the magpie a maricón. “Why?” I asked before I knew that the term often had nothing to do with sexual orientation. “Because he steals eggs from the other birds and food from my cats.”
Sometimes the maricón is the Boogie Man out to get you. Or what you dare not be. “Let’s get going now—the last man out is a maricón.”
Of course it also means a dangerous pedophile or the colorful transvestite or effeminate man of folklore. With all those uses and the fact the the word is in everyone’s armory, it is no wonder the kids pick it up. You can see how hard it is to change an age-old attitude from above. But the government is trying.
May 26, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I enjoyed reading your comments about Spanish culture. Here in Panama, I have noticed a similar machismo, and while I haven’t heard the word “maricon” as a term of endearment, I have noticed that especially among men in Panama, swearing is a typical form of communication. I have found myself having to explain to students what the word “bastard” actually means because they asked me what it meant. They had no clue why it was considered a “bad” word. Also there has been some confusion as to why “Oh, my God!” is ok and “Jesus!” is not. (Dios mio is a frequently heard response to conversations in Panama, and is not considered as swearing.)
June 2, 2008 at 11:38 am
amayala: Have you encountered Spanish blasphemy? I was shocked when I heard it the first five thousand times. There’s nothing like it in English and it is, out of decency, untranslate-able. It seems to be something that develops in a country where state and Church rule together, with the result that many people consider the propaganda of one and the teachings of the other as the same B.S. They don’t take it seriously. Also there is a long and strong tradition of anticlericalism here, so there’s an element of getting back at the priests and nuns who disciplined Spaniards when they were little—a collective resentfulness.
There used to be some real swearing in England—you see it in Shakespeare. “’Snails!” they exclaim (for “by God’s nails!”) or “swoons!” (for “by God’s wounds!”), etc. And who knows if there was real blasphemy too, as there is here, where you hear it every day—it is practically a pillar of colloquial speech, honestly. I have gotten used to it—even the clergy have to get used to hearing it —but I hate to hear a little kid say he defecates on G, for instance. Of course he picks it up from his dad or mom, who say it, not even very dramatically, at home.
June 2, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I haven’t seen anything that specific, 100swallows. However, in Panama there are apparently made-up curse words that are simply local. My husband was trying to explain one to me the other day. There are more mother-curses I think here in Panama than the kind that you are speaking of.
November 4, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I would agree with what Amayala said in her first post, however, I would add that I am disgusted at how children, of any age, throw around homophobic or discriminative terms without even knowing what they mean. Using “Gay” to describe something as “stupid” of “lame” is making the link between a gay person and negativity. I am a teenage boy and often see people I don’t like, and some of my friends, using the word. Having been bullied a lot of my life for being a “Geek”, something which I have no shame in admitting, I find it easy empathise with anyone being insulted, especially if the person saying the insult doesn’t know what he/she is saying (even if what they are saying is true).
November 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Sorry, I wasn’t very clear about this in my last post, I NOW admit to being a geek, however at the time not only did I not admit to it but I wasn’t. Being called a geek simply for wearing glasses pushed me to the edges of the school society, in a way, making me a geek. In retrospect, I am glad for this (except for minor emotional imprints from being bullied) as I fear that, had this not happened, I would be one of the people using “gay” as an insult.
November 6, 2008 at 10:02 am
Yes, Ryan, you are right, and thank you for sharing your experiences.
eileen