Kids’ Science Exam Answers!
I just received this very interesting forward from a friend, and had to post it immediately!
Eileen
Forward: Children’s Science Exam Answers
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section.”
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you are eight.
Eileen
This entry was posted on October 20, 2007 at 9:34 pm and is filed under African Education Issues, American School, Asian Education Issues, Australian Education Issues, Biology, Chemistry, Children, Classrooms, Critical thinking, Culture, Current Events, Curriculum, Curriculum Content and Issues, Deficiencies in American Education, Deficits in American Education, Ecology, Education Issues, Elementary, Elementary School Issues, Elementary Science Curriculum, European Education Issues, Grade 1, Grade 2, Grade 3, Grade 4, Grade 5, Grade 6, Grade 7, Grade 8, Grade 9, Grade School Issues, Health Education, Interesting Education Stories, Japanese Education Issues, Middle East, Middle Eastern Education Issues, North American Educational Issues, Parenting Issues, Parents, Parents Helping Children with Science, Parents' Concerns, School Issues, Schools, Schools and Science, Secondary School Issues, Secondary Science Curriculum, South American Educational Issues, Students, Teaching About Science, United States, Weather Processes, earth science, education, overseas education, teacher, teaching, think outside the box. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
October 20, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Thank you for some amusing reading on a Saturday afternoon and I would also like to thank you for dedication to education.
October 26, 2007 at 3:08 am
HHHaaaa! The creative spirit is alive and well. Thank you for inspiring children and adults. ; )
October 26, 2007 at 12:36 pm
damn they are good
these were in ur class?
u may be the only teacher having fun while grading the papers
October 26, 2007 at 6:37 pm
As I mentioned in the post, these were not in my class, but I received them in a “Forward” from a friend. I thought they were really clever tries, too! So glad you enjoyed reading them.
Eileen
October 31, 2007 at 12:52 am
The “seasons” answer may be correct. It’s just that most people don’t think of the question that way.
In D.C. the dead canoeists do indeed have to be filtered out of the water system on rare occasions.
I hope the child who answered, “Keep the milk in the cow” got 100%. He or she is precisely the sort of person who could grow up to become an accomplished (not necessarily famous) scientist.
What are those rods used to contain carpets on the stairs called?